Alright, let me begin by saying just a few things. Number one I am not an authority on marriage and number two is that I do not have it all figured out. Number three is actually very basic. I am just a husband who is trying to figure it out biblically with his wife. I am blessed with a wife who is always trying to figure out how we can get better at being husband and wife to one another. She is patient, loving, and kind and no I am not saying this because she might read this. However, during these brief two years of marriage, I do have a few things I would like to point out.
Number 1 of 3
God is deadly serious about commitment and integrity, and we should be too. If you don’t think I am right, email me and we can chat a little more at length about it. Have you ever noticed how jealous of a God our God is? He wants no other before Him. He makes lasting and forever commitments (covenants) with His people that He never breaks. He also expects us to be the same by the way. He instructs men to love their wives as he loves the church. That means solely and wholely. With that love and commitment comes integrity. Integrity is the thing that other people see. Sort of like our testimony in church. If you praise God that He delivered you from and then are seen stumbling out the bar while smoking and taken someone other than your significant other home…it’s mildly ruined. The same with marriage. You can’t just say something is okay because you’ve known someone for a long time. If they do not respect your partner then there’s no room for that. If you think continuing to talk to the opposite sex without including a healthy respect for your partner is okay while dating or being married, then you may have figured out why your relationships haven’t lasted. Harsh, yes I know, but the truth often is.
Number 2 of 3
We also need to take the time to learn the other person. What makes them tick, what brings them joy, what can I do not to trigger anger? That was an important thing that Alissa and I did before even got married. During our marriage counseling, which yes I encourage everyone to do, we identified what our preconceived notions of marriage were and how they differed. God doesn’t want us unevenly yoked to one another. That’s just about out faith either. It’s in how we think and what we think the other should do. Take time to really explore what makes the each other tick.
Number 3 1/2 of 3
Yeah yeah yeah. I know that I said three but I need to add just a half of another thought here. Make time to have fun together, no matter how big or small. Also, continue to learn and find new ways to grow with one another. Recently my wife and I started doing this journal ever week where we ask each other 6 questions and then plan our next week so we now what’s going on in each others lives. We strive to have light fun every day at some point if we can and we always try to grow in knowledge of one another.
If you have any thoughts or things to add please feel free to do so! I always enjoy a good discussion.
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